Athaiah Deshawn

If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why?

There is one day I would go back to.

I was in school, and one of my friends, who was turning 17 and was still in the eighth grade, asked me what he should do.

He had already lived through more than most children should. His mother struggled with drugs, and he had become involved in things far beyond his years.

I don’t remember exactly what I was thinking when I told him, “Don’t come back to school.”

I was joking.

I didn’t think he would actually listen to me.

But he did.

He never came back.

When summer ended and I started high school, I learned that he was facing a very long prison sentence. He had become involved in a drug deal that went wrong, and a woman lost her life. He was held responsible.

Years later, I learned something that stayed with me.

He told me I had been the only person speaking positivity into his life.

That broke something in me.

Because I was a child too.

I didn’t understand the weight of my words. I didn’t understand what he was carrying. And I certainly didn’t understand that something I said jokingly could be taken so seriously.

If I could relive that day, I wouldn’t tell him to leave school.

I’d tell him to stay.

I’d tell him that his circumstances didn’t have to determine his future.

I’d tell him that he was worth more than the life he had been exposed to.

Maybe I couldn’t have changed everything.

But I would want him to hear, from me, what I wish I had understood back then:

Your life is worth fighting for.